Alright, let’s have a real chat. Writing a CV feels like a punishment, doesn’t it? You sit there, the blinking cursor judging your life choices, and you’re forced to distill your entire professional existence into a single, sterile document. The pressure mounts, and suddenly, you’re typing out nonsense like “adept at leveraging cross-functional synergies.” I once saw a CV where a candidate listed “Microsoft Word” as a skill and then submitted the document as a blurry JPEG. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
If that sounds even remotely familiar, this is for you. The game has changed. Recruiters are drowning in applications, and they’ve developed a sixth sense for fluff. Your CV isn’t just a list of jobs; it’s your one shot to grab them by the collar and say, “Hey, you need me.”
As someone who has waded through more CVs than I care to admit, I’m here to be the friend who tells you there’s spinach in your teeth. Let’s ditch the cringey stuff and build a CV that actually gets you in the door.
The CV Graveyard: Things We’re Leaving Behind
We’re holding a funeral for these outdated CV trends. Feel free to say a few words, then let’s bury them for good.
- The “Objective Statement”
You know the one: “Seeking a challenging role where I can utilize my skills for company growth.”
Let me translate that for you: “I would like a job, please.” It’s the most pointless sentence in the history of job applications. It tells the recruiter nothing except that you know how to copy and paste a generic phrase. It’s the corporate equivalent of starting a conversation with “So… you come here often?”
What to do instead: Write a punchy “Professional Summary.” Three or four lines, right at the top. This is your highlight reel. Who are you? What’s your superpower? “Digital marketer with 8+ years of experience who doubled e-commerce revenue for a national brand by overhauling their SEO strategy.” See? It’s confident. It’s specific. It makes me want to know more.
- Your Entire Life Story
I once reviewed a four-page CV from a recent graduate. It included their paper route from middle school. I’m not kidding. Unless you’re applying for a job in logistics and that paper route was a masterclass in operational efficiency, leave it out.
Recruiters are scanners. They spend about seven seconds on their first pass. You have to make those seconds count. Listing your summer job as a camp counsellor from 2009 is just clutter.
What to do instead: Be a ruthless editor. Your CV is a marketing document, not an autobiography. Stick to the last 10, maybe 15 years of relevant experience. If a job doesn’t scream “I’m perfect for this role,” cut it. It’s about quality, not quantity.
- The Buzzword Salad
“Results-driven,” “team player,” “synergy,” “go-getter,” “dynamic.” These words are ghosts. They haunt every bad CV, rattling their chains of meaninglessness. They are empty calories. They sound impressive but signify nothing.
What to do instead: Prove it. Don’t say you’re “results-driven”; show the results. “Managed a project” is meh. “Delivered a £500k project two weeks ahead of schedule, saving 15% on the projected budget” is a mic drop. Use numbers. Use data. Use concrete examples. They are your best friends.
- The Classic “References Available Upon Request”
This is a relic from a bygone era, like fax machines and dial-up modems. Of course your references are available upon request. If a company wants to hire you, they’re going to ask for them. Including this line is like putting “The End” at the end of a movie. It’s implied.
What to do instead: Delete it. Use that precious line of space for one more killer achievement bullet point.
Giving Your CV an Upgrade for 2025
Okay, demolition is done. Let’s build something that shines.
- The Almighty Quantified Achievement
This is the single most powerful tool in your arsenal. It’s the difference between saying you’re a good cook and showing someone a Michelin star.
How to do it: For every single bullet point under your jobs, ask yourself: “So what?”
- “Wrote blog posts.” So what? -> “Wrote 10 SEO-optimised blog posts per month that increased organic traffic by 40% in six months.”
- “Trained new staff.” So what? -> “Developed a new onboarding program that reduced new hire training time by 25%.”
Find a number, a percentage, a currency symbol. Quantify your impact.
- The Robot-Proof Format
Hate to break it to you, but a robot is probably reading your CV before a human does. It’s called an Applicant Tracking System (ATS), and it’s your first gatekeeper. If your CV is a beautiful, column-filled, graphically-stunning masterpiece, the robot will probably get confused and toss it in the digital bin.
How to do it: Keep it clean and simple. Use a standard font. Use clear, boring headings (“Work Experience,” “Skills,” “Education”). Don’t use tables, text boxes, or fancy graphics. Weave in keywords from the job description, but don’t just stuff them in there. Let them appear naturally.
- The “Here’s My Proof” Section
Talk is cheap. If you’re a writer, designer, developer, or in any field where you make things, you need to show your work.
How to do it: Add a “Portfolio” or “Projects” section with a clean hyperlink. A link to your website, your GitHub profile, or a case study of a project you’re proud of is infinitely more powerful than just listing “Content Creation” as a skill.
- A Glimmer of Personality
You are a human being, not a work-bot. It’s okay to show it. A small, tasteful “Interests” section at the very bottom can be a fantastic way to connect with an interviewer.
How to do it: Keep it brief and professional. “Interests: Hiking, training for a half-marathon, homebrewing.” This stuff makes you memorable and can spark a genuine conversation. Just maybe leave out your “obsession with true crime podcasts” unless you’re applying to be a detective.
The Template Isn’t a Dirty Word
Look, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Using a template is smart, not lazy. The key is to find a modern cv template that’s clean, professional, and lets your achievements do the talking. Look for something with a clear hierarchy and plenty of white space. A subtle pop of colour is fine; a full-page photo of your face is not (unless you’re a model).
Your CV is your opening argument. It’s your chance to make a case for yourself before you even step into the room. Stop thinking of it as a chore and start thinking of it as your secret weapon. Now go on, make it great.
